eBay takes a surreal, but welcome, turn

You're going to have to beat us to this auction. You really are. We're so up for this.

Here is the text that goes with the lot, which includes a bottle of Reggae Reggae Sauce, a hideous mug and some cigarette papers. Our favourite bits are "i went straight to the stand with me mandatory basket" and "or collect from braintree essex". If you read it fast it's like a magical, sensuous Greek tragedy:

no woman,no cry
cos ive all you need for a good time
this little package nearly cost me my life
the sauce .........
well lets say it was like a rugby scrum
picture this.......
its 7-55...AM
outside sainsbuggs in essex
and theres a load of blokes milling around
all of em trying not too look tooo sus
no girlies...... just blokes
well lucky for me ive done a reckie the night before
so
i
know
where
the
treasure is
the doors open and its like that game we played at school
(before health and saftey was an issue)
..................british bulldog.................
i went straight to the stand with me mandatory basket
grabbed two by two the merchandise
yes i cried at last
we`ll reggae for it now...
was playin in me head all the way round
then the trouble started
this other mush...a big lad ,was tellin me how much this stuff was makin on e-bay
and how he was gonna make his millions by takin all he could and puttin it on here
well i wasn`t gonna put up with pure greed and profiteering so i picked up the whole stand and marched off with it!!
passing out bottles to the rest of the peeps that had now found the the centre of the universe boy were they glad
as for the greedy one he only got six or so bottles and i got ten
(well i have at least eight friends )
and yes i did give it to them
no charge
but now curiosity has got the better of me so here goes
one bottle
one cup/mug
and one packet of
bob marley pure hemp extra long papers
lets see how they go shall we?
99p start
low postage only £3.00
or collect from braintree essex
then dig out your bob marley
or king tubby albums and ............